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Will We Ever Live Up to Unrealistic Hair Expectations?

Black Women Hair ExpectationsRecently Very Smart Brothas’ Agatha answered a question from a reader named Johnny. He asked: 

“I  like black women but I hate the fake hair they wear, all of it, the wigs, the weaves, and the ponytails. It’s definitely a deal breaker for me. I’m a hair puller. So, I wanna know…is there a sure fire way to tell if it’s all hers? So that I can stop wasting my time and money on these weave queens.”


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Her response was gold:

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“Here’s the thing. You hate fake hair. Which would be a legitimate gripe if we were having this conversation in 1996. Except we’re in 2015 and the natural hair movement is in full swing. So Johnny my boy, you have options! 

But you don’t want a chick with a twist out do you? You want a chick with four bundles of 22 inches of silky Indian Remy hair. You just want it to be real. Some women want a corporate thug. Johnny, you and those women need to snap out of it.

Johnny you want a woman that doesn’t have to wrap her hair up at night; that doesn’t care if it gets wet; that doesn’t mind you using her hair as a bridle; that doesn’t ever have to do protective styles; that might go her whole life without ever even using a couple clip-ins. Johnny, what you want is a White woman.”


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My thoughts exactly Agatha!

Notice Johnny just automatically assumes that all black women are wearing weaves? Is he totally ignoring the natural movement? Many women are on team natural now, is this man living under a rock?

Just as Agatha says, I don’t think a natural woman would be good enough either. Maybe that’s is why he has totally overlooked the many natural sistas out there and they don’t even come to mind.

The truth is few black women would meet Johnny’s standard. There are black women who naturally have a looser hair texture and long hair, but the vast majority of us do not and that is okay.

I’ve already tackled my thoughts on Misogynist Black Men who feel the need to police how black women should wear their hair. There is nothing wrong with wearing weaves and if you like to wear them as a protective style or just for a change of style go for it!

set your own beauty standard

We have to start setting are own standard of beauty and throwing idiots like Johnny to the curb.

Johnny why don’t you start asking every black woman you “like” whether they wear weaves or not from the beginning? That’s the best way that you can save your precious time and energy. But chances are you are not going to do that because you know how foolish that sounds.

White Women Wear Weaves

And be careful white women wear weaves too!

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Ariane (Editor-in-Chief)

I am Ariane, full-time curly crusader, wife and mom. On this website we offer natural hair products, FREE natural hair tips, style ideas and support. More about my hair journey can be found here.

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1 Comment

  1. The concept of this post is awesome. A lot of men want straight, long hair that just happens to be real. They still want the video vixen look without having to deal with all the things that come with it.

    The only thing I would say about this article is that our community is still not big enough yet. While we are growing in an amazing way, straight hair (specifically with Black women) is still the “norm.” Black men haven’t gotten over it yet.

    Will there be a day when we are the majority (enough to be noticed by most men)? Absolutely… but we still have a long road ahead of us.

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